Tonight is my last night as a programmer. I will be pursuing a career in art. Starting tomorrow, making sketches and studies. I’m quite spontaneous and am able to teach, knowing the whys of what makes good art. Sadly, I also hang up my writer’s keyboard -actually gave it to Dad. Maybe things will work out for me, maybe they won’t. We’ll have to see. More later…
Thinking of compiling my sketch studies and fully rendered paintings into a teach-art book. Something productive to do rather than drawing aimlessly. My app didn’t wrap up as planned, needing another hour of logic tweaking but it’s almost midnight and I took a Rivotril to sleep well earlier. Brushed and will turn in soon.
A new month, April, rolls in. I don’t really want to code or write stories anymore but there’s still a leeetle bit left to do. Feeling okay overall. Haven’t had breakfast. Want to catch up with my cousins via Whatsapp. Dad’s rectal bleeding continues, quite alarmingly. But he is 75 already, a ripe age to live to without much suffering. Mom is also hurt, mainly by her own carelessness, and is on strong antibiotics to help heal a wound. King Charles’ pancreatic cancer will fell him soon as well. I hesitate to say it, but don’t push people around in mindspace, close one eye, and tell a lie. It hurts everyone.
Talked in the mindspaces to important people who’ve been dirtied by the Liew witchy forces. God does want a bountiful harvest and many many elect (favorites). Don’t think of the Father’s anger, but His everlasting love. The Bible seems contradictory regarding favoritism earned versus born-with versus the total opposite -you’re a dog or a whore -a sinner destined for hell. The reality of salvation is just 2 steps we all learn early in life and throw away when we see pride, fame, wealth etc. that we can have.
These 2 steps are: you are a baby and you need your mother. And you are a sexual being, you will join with a wife and leave your mother at some stage. For example, pride interferes such that one cannot admit they are/were ever helpless and therefore are sexually predisposed to misogyny and other gender crimes. Fame or respect interferes such that we deny we have a birth mother, treating her ‘mean’ and we feel as though we are God. This leads to flesh to flesh bonding that is imperfect and gender confusion. We all know what wealth abuse leads to -the root of all evil.
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