I was thinking of being ‘washed clean’…

In a previous post, I said those forgiven of sins feel washed clean. And I thought it pretty ambiguous so here’s my testimony on this. 

I once committed a sin by accident. By being negligent or not present minded. Someone took my mistake and spread it round my neighborhood, thru my high school and to my relatives and friends.

It happened that I knew they were out to get me, and had perpetrated my mistake. I didn’t feel very guilty. Nobody was after all hurt. It was just an embarrassing accident.

Sin tells you who you may soon become if you’re not more obedient to Jesus.

Later on, partially and cumulatively from that incident, I was surreptitiously led down the slippery slope of immorality by my tempters / haters. And finally, in a coup de gras, I was punished over a minor matter writ large. As I here testify:

Sin is not in the has-done, but in the add-up.

It is now impossible for me to be forgiven for my minor sins that never hurt a soul but smeared a generation. Do I feel dirty or indignant? Should I now pray even as I have been whipped severely for my mistakes. Where do I lay my head?

Do you think this is the worst sin testimony you ever heard? I must have caused circa 10 suicides, 20 murders, 40 incarcerations, 100 breakups… and I’ll never fully know nor meet the people hurt from the slander against me. Peace has been taken from my heart and my strong hand is somewhat withered.

That’s when _Jesus_ saved me… Perhaps you anticipated me to say. No, he did not make it all go away. Nor do I feel clean like a martyr. I feel CLEAN because I’m close to Jesus as never before. I am doing his work, testifying and illuminating gospel for free, online, in these end times rather than pursuing my own selfish chase after money and fame. I am washed clean by walking with the Lord of the Sabbath. I have a home in his vineyard where the work is easy. I have his peace as a wage for my testimony.

This is how I feel fine and confidently care free. I hope the feeling resonates with you too.